


Back Door

by StayInMyLane



Category: Stray Kids (Band), TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Author Commentary, Behind the Scenes, M/M, Major Spoilers, Mentioned ATEEZ Ensemble, Mentioned Bangtan Boys | BTS Member(s), Not a Story, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Fandoms Not Mentioned in Tags, authorized personnel only - Freeform, if you want to be authorized knock knock
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:29:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28370181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StayInMyLane/pseuds/StayInMyLane
Summary: Hello, this is author StayInMyLane,I have decided to write a book about the behind the scenes of my fics. Each chapter will be on one of my completed stories, so you can simply skip through them in any order you want depending on which fics you have read. I have never seen something like this done before, so I am just going with it lol.Please enjoy!
Comments: 5
Kudos: 33





	1. Introduction

I have been asked many times before with questions like,

"What inspires you to write? How did you come up with your stories? Where did you get your ideas from?" And these questions make me so happy because it shocks me that people actually want to know how my thought process works and what actually went into writing all of it.   


After doing a poll on Twitter, quite a few people really wanted me to make a detailed breakdown and analysis on the behind the scenes of each of my fics, so here we are! 

In this book, I will go through each story of mine in detail and explain how I came up with certain major plot ideas. I recommend not reading the chapter of any fic you did not finish, because this will give out MAJOR spoilers. It will detail everything, from beginning to end, so please skip chapters if you still want to read my other fics and don't want spoilers. 

Thank you to everyone who has loved my writing up until now. Your words of love, encouragement, and support have made this much more enjoyable to me, and I always try to give back as much as I receive! Every single person has been kind, respectful, and just overall amazing. I haven't received any majorly negative things in the 2 years (and counting) I've been writing fics, and I am so grateful and lucky to have you all. 

Important!

Please note: I have made an announcement about this back in September, but I will repeat myself here. 

I do not, in any way, support kwj. He was a character in my fics, and these fics have been completed and finished long before the incident about him. If you have read all of my fics up until "until the camellias wither" then you will understand why it is extremely difficult for me to take him out of the storyline since all of my stories are interwoven with each other. 

As of right now, he will no longer appear in any way shape or form in future fics of mine. 

I would like to give a warning to any future readers as well. Please be mindful of what you say to authors on here regarding kwj. Many authors have finished their fics YEARS in advance before the whole incident regarding him. It is not their responsibility to go back and rewrite all of their hard work over something that was completely out of their control. If you see a fic with kwj in it, PLEASE look at the publication date and see whether it was posted before September 2020. If it was, then do not harrass the author to take him out, because that simply isn't fair to them. I have gotten a few people tell me "ya I wasn't going to read your fic because I saw kwj in it, and I don't like people who are supporters of him." 

Uhm? Excuse me? Just because my fic was posted TWO YEARS ago, doesn't mean I am an active supporter of him. Please do your research before opening up a big problem on social media.

So I say this in the most kindest way possible, please do not look at this book of Behind the Scenes negatively just because kwj might be mentioned in it. I will try to avoid mentioning him as much as possible because I know some people might be uncomfortable, but yeah…

Ok let's get to it!


	2. A Glitch: Part 1

*Takes old drafts and archived notes out of the trash, dusts them off, tries to get the wrinkles out, ignores the coffee stains*

Ok I think we are good to go!

Everyone, thank you for coming to my shitty Ted Talk. This will be a very long and very embarrassing essay about what goes on inside my crazy mind. I will include personal thoughts and things about me that otherwise I would be too shy to talk about. Please be kind! I know i can be cheesy and lame sometimes lol

Also i tend to jump around a lot, because as you might already know, my fics were not written in chronological order. I simply pieced everything together as I went along.

Since a lot of the character development was already talked about in my commentaries in each fic, I will not try to repeat myself too much in that aspect. Rather, I will talk more on the development of the plots themselves.

***

This fic is my very first writing, EVER. I didn't think I would make fanfics, it never crossed my mind. I can honestly blame that on '50 shades of gray' ruining the idea of fanfictions for me because ooof the plot...I literally tried to read it thinking it would be a cool fanfic to twilight, and I just ended up laughing through the first half of the book and then never finished. The movies were just as laughable. I'm sorry, but the story was not sexy at all. 

Ok I went off on a tangent, I'm so sorry lmaooo I do that a lot  


Anyways, so yeah, I didn't think, two years ago, that I would be writing fanfics, but here we are. 

My first fic is not my best, I admit. But I did not plan anything out, I did not outline major story plots or map out major events. I just opened my laptop one day and started writing, with no intentions of posting AT ALL. Please give me a bit of leeway with how the story is written. I do not care about professional criticism, because I am not a literature major, and I hated english in school, and I only do this for fun. I have had people comment on A Glitch giving their "expertise" opinions and rating my story on a scale of 1 to 10, which is fine...but yeah I simply don't care so you are wasting your breath :P 

I also try to be as original as possible with my story lines. If you see some similarities to other things, then that is completely by coincidence unless I say so otherwise. I have a personal rule where I do not read other beautiful fanfics of the same genre that I am currently writing in because I don't want to accidentally get influenced by that author's work. For example, I avoided reading any fanfic of the fantasy genre for the past year because I was writing "until the camellias wither" at the time and that's a major fantasy genre. I apologize if my storylines aren't as well developed or detailed, because I am literally coming up with it on my own with no examples or themes to go off of. I'm not that imaginative lol.

With that being said, please take my stories with a grain of salt. 

Note:

After the love and support I received from a glitch and it's in my blood, I decided from there on out to really map out my story, plan in advance, and plot it seriously, which is why some of you may have noticed my writing got "better" starting with your lips keep moving and until the camellias wither. I wouldn't say it necessarily got better, I think I just really buckled down and got to business rather than just randomly writing on a whim. I still do that, but not as much as I first did when writing a glitch and it's in my blood.

***

So this is how my first fanfic, A Glitch, came to be:

As you all know by now, I suffer from slight insomnia. It's nothing too serious, but usually I'm up at all hours of the night and day. So I get bored pretty easily lmaooo. I usually spend my nights watching the Korean music shows since korea is 13 hours ahead of me, and their shows air from around 2am all the way till 5 or 6am depending on the day. I love music, of all genres, but especially kpop. So you would usually find me up at night scrolling through twitter, watching music shows or other variety shows, and clicking through youtube watching anything and everything. Years of that have given me a huge and vast playlist of all types of music that interests me. 

Anyways, I was taking summer courses at University when I got bored of that as well. It was a bit of a dry spell regarding music. So I randomly skimmed through twitter and came across a fanfic that was retweeted. Ive heard of wattpad before, but not ao3 at all. I don't exactly remember which fic that was, but I was very interested. After that, ao3 became another thing to take away my boredom at night. 

Skz was really new to kpop when I discovered ao3 (it was in may of 2018 when I made my account on ao3 I believe). So I quickly read through most of the fics, and then had nothing to read anymore, which I was sad about. I mean, yes, I'm a multifan of kpop so I had plenty of content from bts, nct, svt, etc, but I really love skz and wished there was more. 

And then, randomly on a summer night in early June..I thought...well, if there isn't anymore fics for skz, why don't I just try out writing my own? I wouldn't have to post it, and it would be yet another way to pass the time at night. 

And that's how it happened. I started typing, and it was a lot of fun watching shows at night while also writing. I had no plans or intentions of letting other people read it, which is why a glitch can be considered a bit disorganized and not that good.  


It wasn't until October of 2018 when I read a comment on Twitter saying they really wished they had more skz content to read late at night when they couldn't sleep. And I thought...well, what if I posted my fic? Would people find enjoyment in it as much as I did with theirs? At the very least, it would be something to pass the time for the night owls like me. So in a spurt of bravery, because I'm an introvert at heart, I decided to post. Legit I was scared to click the "post" button, and when I did, I freaked out and shut down the website and didn't look back at it until 2 days later. I thought to myself 'its ok. Even if 10 people read this, then that is more than enough. This is just for fun and my own enjoyment.' It was in that moment that I promised myself I would never be selfish when posting my chapters. I will continue to do this for my own personal enjoyment, which is why I never ask for kudos, or comments, and I never look at the hits. It is so much more meaningful to me when people give me kudos and comments because they WANT to and not because I asked them to. So if I tend to come off as a bit stand-offish in my author's notes, then I apologize. That isn't my intent. 

After some time, quite a few people asked me if I had a social media account to contact me. I did, but that was more of a fan account. I decided to finally make a twitter specifically for my fics so people have a way to get in touch. And I have never been happier for deciding to make my twitter, because it honestly is a much better place with all of you on there <3 

Ok I'm rambling again lol. That's how everything started, so let's get to the actual story.

As mentioned before, I am heavily inspired by music, lyrics, and even sometimes quotes and poetry I see on occasion. All of my fics have started from a song, and specific lyrics. I will not take credit for all of my ideas though, because my themes in my fics are the usual classic/cliche tropes we all know and love (such as soulmates, enemies to lovers, family dynamics, etc). I simply take that general theme or genre and try to put my own original spin or twist onto it as best I can. 

A Glitch was first formed by my inspiration from the song "All the stars" by kendrick lamar ft sza. I was just listening to it one day, and the lyrics really got to me. 

Also please note, I'm a sucker for the soulmate trope. As you all probably already know lmaoooo so ya, my fics all involve soulmates of some type of way. 

"Love, let's talk about love. Is it anything and everything you hoped for? Or does the feeling haunt you?" 

These lyrics are what really started it all. I got to thinking, what if you have a soulmate out there, and you can feel each other, but you don't know what that feeling is in your chest, its just a constant ache? Or maybe you  _ do _ know that it's your soulmate, but you have no way of getting to them? So the feeling haunts you everyday and there's nothing you can do about it. 

So then, what if I wrote a typical soulmate au (soulmate aus are a classic!) but have a small twist with it? But then I needed a main character and plot. So the next lyrics of that song influenced that and built on what I was thinking:

"cause maybe the night that my dreams might let me know, all the stars are closer." And that is what influenced my first scene with changbin, waking up from a nightmare, with this haunting feeling like he's  _ missing _ something, like his world just isn't right even though things seem to be going fine. And well ...I wrote the rest of the story like that, but with each chapter and scene influenced by the song it's named after (all my chapters are named after the songs that influenced it!)

At the time, I decided to make Felix the main character with the lyrics: "Tell me what you gon' do to me. Confrontation ain't nothin' new to me. You can bring a bullet, bring a sword, Bring a morgue, but you can't bring the truth to me." This is referring to his current situation in facility 9. The idea of dystopian really came from stray kids first concept trailer where they were wearing white hoodies and trapped inside some kind of facility with no way out. They were like mindless puppets, until chan started waking everybody up and basically forming a movement to change things. That's why chan is actually the glitch in my story and not Felix. It was intentional to make Felix the main character, to make people believe he would be the one to change everything and end the corruption that was happening, but really...Felix didn't decide to do any of that until he saw chan with the others in facility 2. So ya, it was chan all along. He was purposely made to be in the background, his role subtle and invisible unless you were looking for it. I tried to hint at it a few times, but it's all in the perspective of who is reading it. 

I wanted the soulmates to have supernatural abilities, but with an 'opposites attract' kind of theme. The point of that was, even if someone can be considered your weakness, they can also be your strength if you learn to work together and trust in each other. For example, fire and water don't mix well, right? But if two people with those abilities learn to trust in each other, they can become each other's support. So I tried to make every single soulmate pair opposites with their ability. If you saw the consistent theme of opposites, then you could easily guess from the second chapter on that Felix would have been light all along since changbin was dark. A bit cliche, yes, but surprisingly not many people guessed it. I tried to match up their powers with what I think best suited their personalities at the time. 

Minho was actually supposed to be water, but fire didn't suit jisung in my fic or in real life, so I switched him with hyunjin. It turned out much better this way, in my personal opinion. Hyunjin was fluid like water, calm and easy going, but at the same time not hesitant in getting riled up, just like the sea or a lake. Seungmin's character was to complement hyunjins. He was fiery and destructive. Minho became earth. He's strong, not easily moved, and grounded jisung when needed. At the same time, jisungs flighty-ness helped keep minho on his toes and a bit more expressive. 

Ahh, chan. I just imagined lightning with him, it just fit so well. When he lost his temper on the rare occasion, he snapped like sparks. 

Unfortunately, I have to mention kwj here. I never could identify with him, even in real life. He was just so icy on the outside, not very warm, and he was the most difficult person to write because I could never get a good feel for his personality. He hid himself very well, and if I had to rank the skz members back in 2018, kwj was at the bottom of my list and my least favorite. So I made his powers ice lmaoooooo if you notice, kwj did not play any major roles in a glitch, and I used to feel bad about that because I hate being unfair to people. In 2018, I was disappointed in myself for unintentionally ignoring his character, so I tried to make up for that in it's in my blood, but even then I still don't think I succeeded. Chan, and minsung, were still the stars of that fic...again unintentionally. 

I opened this fic with the scene of ten having a glimpse of the future, where half of stray kids seem to die. I wrote that scene as one of the first. I listened to the song "lost in the dream" by monsta x while doing that. The lyrics really spoke out to me (you will hear me say this a lot throughout this book).

To me, this was a very sad song, and it was the inspiration for the entire "feel" or "mood" of the story, which is what I needed. 

'Lost in the dream's by monsta x:

"When day breaks, you disappear every time." This was in reference to changbin waking up from his dreams and having that lingering feeling of missing something. 

"I pray every day that it's not a dream again." This goes to Felix, being able to feel his soulmate, but unable to get to them. He fears that one day he will wake up and no longer feel them anymore. 

"Even if it's just a shadow, I want it." This can be in reference to everyone, reaching for their other half. 

"Like I'm plunging, I fall into this deeply penetrating dream. I burn in this moment, I can't ever wake from this dream." This is in reference to when jisung, Felix, and hyunjin all were captured, and being forced to forget about the people they care the most for. They sort of went into this hypnotic state, and even though they couldn't remember the others' names, they still couldn't forget about them. Soft lingering touches and voices that whisper words of love and comfort were all they could remember, but it was enough to keep them from forgetting. I wrote that scene along with ten's scene, because they were connected. Ten saw the future of them at the facility, and that's what led up to ten's prediction coming true. 

"White noise" by exo is actually the song I used to form seungmin and hyunjins relationship. 

"All I have to do, is close my eyes and find you among all the noise in the world." It was fitting really. Seungmin was terrified of water, but when he stopped focusing on the crashing of the waves and instead closed his eyes to listen to hyunjin instead, he immediately felt better. 

"K.O." by sf9 was the next song that influenced a major plot point. "Go, go, we go psycho." I think that alone explains how I managed to come up with that chapter lol. Basically, the members of skz were trapped in an inky black fog, created by yours truly my bias from ace yuchan, and some of them went crazy and started attacking the others. "War, dominate me, take me over," lyrics like that is what got me writing about having to snap them out of their hypnosis. I don't think much explanation is needed for that lol. 

"Very good" by blockB was also pretty self explanatory. If you watched the music video, the members break into a bank and basically destroy everything, which is exactly what everyone did when destroying the island they were on. Seungmin was the star of the chapter "fire" by bts right before that, when he set everything ablaze. That was one of the most fun chapters I wrote. 

In 2018, one of the stray kids members at the time used a traditional fighting weapon, and so on a whim I thought "why not give skz some weapons too?" Unfortunately, that was a big mistake in my personal opinion. I ended up not liking it, but I kept it in there anyways since it was already too late. Oh well. It did make for some good comedy when the nct dream members joined them on the island. I do not regret giving minho a glaive though. Him swinging that thing around would be so cool. Also, I'm slightly scared that skz secretly read my fics, because their concept trailer for gods menu a few months ago all had them using a weapon that I used in a glitch….yikes. 

"Goodbye" by taemin is by far one of my most favored songs. That entire chapter was inspired from this song. 

"My eyes find yours, that are looking at me too." 

"Just like how fluttering flower petals greet, I’m smiling in loneliness.  
Goodbye my love, even though you’re sad and alone, I can never reach you" 

Really, I loved writing the moment Felix knew everything would be hopeless. He looked around, and saw that they were out of time. They weren't all going to make it back together. So a select few members told haechan to not bother with them, instead send the others back. 

I'm a huge markhyuk shipper too, so when mark knew he wasn't going to be teleported back with haechan, well...that was fun lmao 

What would you do in that situation? When you are surrounded by enemies all around, and only a few of you can make it back safely, would you give up your spot for someone else? Or perhaps secretly be selfish and want to be safe? Personally, I would be Felix and the others. I would have no problems sacrificing myself for someone else that I care about. In my opinion, it's more painful for me to be safe and sound, feeling helpless while the other person is gone and getting tortured while I'm all comfy in a bed. It's kind of like the thought on someone dying and you being left behind all by yourself. It's much more painful that way. 

Of course chan and the rest of them all thought this way when they realized that the other members weren't coming back. This led to the mission of getting them back and finally ending this once and for all.

To put it simply, chan snapped. 

Minghao from seventeen is my bias, and I loved writing his supernatural abilities. To be honest, I didn't know what I was going to do with him. His soulmate was junhui, and I already wanted junhui to manipulate tarot cards, but what was the opposite of tarot cards?? I couldn't think of anything!! And then it hit me. Tarot cards are considered fake and not scientific to some people. So the opposite of make-believe is... science. And so minghao became someone who can manipulate numbers. Believe it or not, but there is the theory that everything in the world can be calculated and predicted using math and probabilities. He is able to do that. He doesn't necessarily predict the future like junhui, but at the same time he can take a given situation and use math to give probabilities on certain circumstances. Just like the tarot cards, this method isn't exactly fool-proof, but also adds an extra perspective on things. 

I really enjoyed the scene where chan demands a calculation for the possibility of whether his members were alive. He needed that extra reassurance, he needed the facts, even though he knew that the probability of him returning alive was next to none. But despite that, chan didn't care. How could he live with the regret of not at least trying to save the rest of them? So even though minghao told him it was basically a suicide mission, chan still went anyways. 

From this point on, the song "wake me up" by BAP was what set the plot of the story:

"This is an endless tunnel, with darkness, no light. I need to jump over my limit, I just can't stop myself. Now I'll awaken this fearful society. Before it's too late, I'm getting up…" it was lyrics like those that basically described chan's character. He was finally beyond being careful. He put his foot down, with the other members, went to go take what was his back. Basically it was kind of the push he needed? From the beginning of the story up until now, chan took orders from someone else. But we all know chan was a true born leader, and once he decided to make his own rules, things started moving. 

Finally, we make it back full circle, where ten's future starts to come true. But of course, just as johnny told ten, his visions aren't always as they seem. Ten didn't have the whole picture, which is why we think the skz members will die in chapter 1, but actually they didn't lmao. Many of you predicted this would happen. A few people in the comments said "wait a minute 🧐 if minho jumps off the cliff, can't jisung just catch him since he's wind? Or if seungmin drowns, can't hyunjin just save him since he's water?" 

Yes, I laughed evilly to myself when I saw those comments, because you all were right! Felix was a bit of a twist, only because he's the main character of the story. 

Which brings us to jeongin, who healed Felix after getting shot. I contemplated for a long time what to make his abilities, and healing was the only thing that came to mind. But healing is so boring by itself despite being necessary, so I decided to go with energy manipulation. He can heal as a defense but also attack with energy as an offense. Naturally, he needed a soulmate. I thought about making him a three way soulmate bond with hyunjin and seungmin, but the whole opposites attract thing was too hard with water, fire, and energy. Unfortunately I dug my own grave with making everybody a pair, so in the end I had to come up with a character for him. The first to come to mind was maybe another maknae from a different kpop group, but that didn't seem fair to the other kpop group. So I went with bang yedam, who at the time back in 2018 didn't have a group of his own, he was still a trainee. I read somewhere that jeongin and him get along fairly well, and so I decided to use him instead. Of course, now I am somewhat regretting that because of the path my future fics took, but overall it worked out very well. 

I had to think about how exactly I wanted yedams powers to be. It had to be the opposite of jeongin's. Well, jeongin is mainly healing. And whats the opposite of life? Death. So instead of taking energy to heal other people, like jeongin, yedam takes energy to kill them. He never liked this aspect of himself, but jeongin made him realize that his ability didn't have to be a bad thing. He can take energy from people and give it to jeongin so that jeongin could heal even more people without hurting himself. 

I'm going to stop here for now, and continue this in a part 2. Only because it was at this point that I went on a hiatus for 6 months, and started it's in my blood in the middle of a glitch. 


	3. A Glitch: Part 2

Coming soon *to a theater near you*

lol jk that was lame, please ignore that joke. it will be up sooner or later. 


	4. It's In My Blood

Ah yes, 'its in my blood' is the second fic I created. To sum up how I feel about this fic in just one sentence: this was a MESS. 

I honestly don't know why a lot of people love this one, but overall it was just as fun to write as a glitch. 

Before we begin, please note that I came up with the title of this fic long before I even knew shawn mendes had a song called "in my blood". A lot of people call my fic "in my blood" but actually the title is "ITS in my blood". Not sure if you guys are channeling shawn up in here but I laugh every time I see it. Shawn, if you're reading this, my title is better, deal with it!

Note: this contains major spoilers. Please read at your own risk. 

Before anyone asks, NO this fic was not inspired by shawn's song. As I mentioned 5 seconds ago, his song is in no way related to what this fic is about lol. This was actually inspired by the song "crystallize" by lindsey stirling. She danced in the snow, and it was snowing out, and yeah, that's where I got the idea.

The first chapter was written first. I remember being in my minsung feels, because like *sigh* minho, amiright? And it was around Christmas time, which is one of my favorite times of the year and so I was in a pretty good mood. So I wrote out the first chapter in like, less than 10 minutes and then I said fuck it and posted. I had no plot planned out, no idea where the story was gonna go, and honestly didn't care. I usually think up of stuff on the fly anyways. To be honest? I sort of got bored and stuck with a glitch. I stopped writing that fic around chapter 45 and didn't really know where I wanted the story to go. I was fresh out of ideas, so I moved on to a different fic.

Instead of changlix being the stars of the story, I decided to write minsung instead. i wanted everyone to have a different personality too, so I changed it up. Jisung ended up being a little more temperamental than I had planned, and minho more playful. Jisung was actually supposed to be a pretty quiet and secluded "ordinary guy" living by himself and trying to blend into society, but he really didn't end up the way I thought, and I liked it that way anyways. The story just kind of led me in that direction and I went with it. 

Now let me talk about the blood drinking first. (Ew, I know gross!) I think I mentioned before that I got inspiration for that one particular thing from a kdrama. Someone asked me on Twitter which kdrama it was, and I told them I didn't want to spoil the general theme behind the story too soon, and if I told them the name of the drama then they will immediately start putting the pieces together and it would ruin the mystery. Well, writing iimb took longer than I expected, I didn't plan on it being like a glitch, and so I never went back to that person to let them know which drama it was like I promised. I think I switched phones around that time, and my twitter app glitched (lol) and erased all my DMs?? I don't remember, but if you are that person reading this, I truly apologize lmaoooo I never meant to leave you hanging. The drama actually was a Chinese drama, I was boo boo the fool and called it a "kdrama" for a long time before clarifying. Anyways, it was based off of "my amazing boyfriend" (it has a second season now!) 

Naturally I didn't want to copy a drama. Just like how I'm inspired by music, I can be inspired by dramas as well, and I wanted to take the ideas I get from this and make it my own/put my own twist on things. So the only similarity you will see between my fic and that drama is that whenever someone drinks the blood of a specific person, they will instantly be healed. That's as far as it goes. And they aren't vampires! (Sorry twilight fans, maybe next time) 

Ok, so at this point I have a general idea going. Which brings us back to the first chapter. I thought a time skip would be more mysterious and hook people in, because that type of style just seems to fit my personality more. I did it for a glitch and I decided to do it again for iimb. So I wrote the first chapter as "one year later" and made it from jisungs point of view. Jisung had no idea what was happening, all he knew was that he was going to die. He is a medical professional that works in a hospital, which I sort of hinted at, so he recognized the signs of his condition and he knew there was no hope for him to live with the injuries he acquired. On a whim, I made it so that when minho walks up to him lying in the snow and dying, jisung didn't know him yet he recognized him. 

Ok so pause. 

As I wrote that part of the scene I stopped and thought how I wanted this to play out. Do we want jisung to somewhat recognize minho because he passed by him on a street? Did they talk beforehand and got acquainted with each other but then went on their separate ways? Did jisung admire him from afar and pined after him throughout the story until we make it to this point in time? 

All of these types of questions flick through my head as I write a scene that will be included later on in the story. As I noted before, my mind is pretty chaotic and I don't write chronologically. I simply take a piece or scene and place it where I think it fits the best, then I write around those scenes to connect everything together so it flows better. 

I sat there for a few minutes and thought about it. And I decided I didn't like any of those scenarios.

This was a pretty dramatic scene, and so jisung recognizing minho but not knowing who he was also deserved to be dramatic. 

And then I thought of it.

Ok, unpause.

Jisung doesn't know who he was, because he was _forced_ to forget. It was perfect! It was sort of similar to the jisung in a glitch, but different. I unintentionally did that, but later on you will see that I played off of that idea quite a bit :) .

So back to the scene we go. I started typing away. Jisung recognized minho, muscle or heart(?) memory told him that he knows minho somehow, he just couldn't remember. He was dying...and then all of a sudden he's kissed and now he wasn't dying. 

Minhos last words to jisung before he lost consciousness was a spur of the moment decision on my part. 

Pause again.

I thought, 'saying something all poetic and heartbreaking is usually the norm when writing a scene like this. The character confesses their love to the other person before they lose consciousness, or they whisper words of affection and promises them it will be ok, etc' but that is just so boringgggg and not very realistic for me. Idk if it's because I'm obnoxious and crack jokes in serious situations, but I put myself into minhos shoes:

If I just saved someone I deeply loved, and I KNOW they are gonna be ok because uh hello, I just gave them my all-healing blood, what would I say to them? 

And that's exactly what minho said: basically, 'listen here you little pain in my ass. Looks like we are stuck together for all of eternity lololololol uwu' 

Ok no, not like that lmaoooo but pretty much. *Please refer back to iimb chapter 1 for more details* 

So. What minho said to jisung, thanks to yours truly on a whim, is what started the set up for the plot.

Ok, so now jisung and minho are bonded for all of eternity. Why? How? What happened to them? 

And so we rewind back to the beginning, metaphorically speaking. 

Ok, so at this point, I have some things to work with here. 

  1. Minho is an obnoxious shit
  2. Jisung is a medical professional, for what? I'm not sure yet
  3. Minhos blood can heal and bind himself to jisung only. Ok, so minho is gonna be supernatural. Cool.
  4. Jisungs eyes glow wine red. Oops, gotta think of a reason why they do that now
  5. Jisung dies in the snow. Looks like somebody is after jisung, and minho somehow saves the day
  6. Jisung is forced to forget minho. Looks like someone is definitely after jisung now



Alright, now I had some things to work with. How will the other members come in? What makes jisung so special? Lololol looks like I'm also writing a supernatural story again but this time with modern day settings and not dystopian.

Well shit, that last thought got me thinking again.

If I'm writing modern day and not dystopian, how would that look like? 

Ok, now I can work with this even farther. 

What if...jisung knows he's special, but doesn't care? We are used to seeing the typical 'chosen ones' in all of the movies, where they are special and then have to go on some kind of adventure to save the world. But what if jisung doesn't want that? He knows he's got a supernatural ability of some kind, and instead of flaunting it all over the place or wailing at the audience being like 'i don't want these powers, I don't want to be special, I just want to be like everybody else boo hoo poor me' he just...doesn't do anything about it? He deals with his gifts on his own, and hides in plain sight because hello? It's modern day and we all know that if we had a superpower, the government will take us away etc etc right? So he just...lives out his life like everybody else. If his gifts help him from time to time, great! If they don't, oh well! 

Ok so that's where I got the calm jisung attitude going. He lives alone, in an old apartment building, working his everyday job to survive like the rest of us. He has a gift, but so what? It's not like it's gonna make him rich or some shit (I mean, it could, but then we have to deal with karma and people after you etc lmao). 

Now we gotta bring in the other members. 

Jisung was bff's with Felix in a glitch, so I switched it and made him bff's with seungmin in iimb. But they have the typical bickering relationship like in real life which made it more comical and fun to write. 

And now..pause again.

Ok, so seungmin is now his bff. And what's the number one rule of having a bff? 

That's right, you tell them everything no matter what.

So naturally, jisung and seungmin both know they have supernatural gifts. Jisung helps seungmin whenever he had premonitions, etc. 

And now...they go back to their daily lives like usual LOLOLOL. 

Ok by now, I got the idea to pair everybody up. Half will be like minho, half will be like jisung.

Now it was time to decide what makes jisung and seungmin so special.

So like any well trained author out there, I went to my number one trusty source of all time:

Google.

_'what are some different types of superpowers?'_

And I clicked on the first one that looked legit and had a bunch to choose from. And then I scrolled for about an hour.

I didn't want the members of skz to have the same powers as in a glitch cuz that's just stupid. So then I got to thinking….instead of elemental or super cool abilities like in my previous fic, what if I made it all about psychic type powers this time? Those are easier to hide (usually) in modern day settings anyways. We all know of psychics and stuff, right? I'll just do stuff like that.

Immediately I liked the idea of seungmin having premonitions. But instead of usual premonitions, this time how about make him the dramatic one and have only flashes of something tragic? So it was decided. Seungmin can see the future only when something tragic was going to happen. 

Next was jisung. He always wears rings and other accessories in real life, so I gave him a psychic gift that was object based. And now he's psychometry! 

I decided to make the other two people in their friend circle 3racha to keep things easier for the sake of the story. It's kind of how they all met too, so it was simpler. Changbin and chan and jisung write music together, and by default seungmin was brought into the circle as well. 

See? The story is coming together slowly but surely now inside my mind.

Now changbin: I can't exactly remember why I chose telekinesis for him. I'm too lazy to go back to my commentary within the story, but it just seemed to fit him. Telekinesis was actually supposed to be used on someone in a glitch, but I never managed to fit it in. So changbin got it in iimb! I think I was somewhat inspired by the idea of changbin just snapping and flinging something at someone, so ya…

Finally chan. In a glitch, chan was a pretty powerful leader. This time I kind of wanted to take the spotlight away from him, and throw him into the back. He's a solid foundation for everyone, but it wasn't obvious. This story was all about minsung after all. After a long time deciding (it was actually like an hour, I'm just dramatic), I said fuck it and made him see the color of auras. 

But wait...I could work with that!

What if ..chan could see another person's aura and know they were supernatural like himself? Ok so then that's how all 4 people with supernatural powers managed to come together and find each other, since having these gifts are very rare. It's just not statistically possible for 4 people from a very unique and almost non-existent race to randomly meet each other and live together. Chan made it happen. 

Ok but wait again….

Chan just seeing auras was just so...BORING for me. I wanted him to be a little more special because I love chan. I wasn't satisfied with him having a wimpy and not very defensive gift like the other three. 

So I started writing the second chapter with that in mind. I don't know what chan will have besides seeing auras, but I wanted him to be special. 

BUT WAIT

what if chan was special because he has two gifts, and nobody else does? Ok so it's decided, chan will have two at the same time, but predominantly aura reading. So now I'm thinking: ok chan can't control the second gift, but it's there. Now what is gonna be the second gift!!!??

Ok so while one of the personalities in my brain was pondering and screaming about that, another personality of mine decided to move on with the story. I'll figure it out as I go *insert clown emoji* 

We have jisungs life pretty much mapped out at this point, along with the others. Now it's time for minho and his side of things. 

The idea of minho working for a secret section of the government with Felix and the rest of them all came from one very VERY important detail:

Minho in _combat boots._

Really, that's all it took for me to be like,

'dont know whats happening, don't know how it's gonna happen, but minho in combat boots' 

And so...my fic became kind of like a secret agent au? But not really? 

It's technically not a secret agent au, more of like a witness protection program. But I accidentally labeled that in my summary when I posted the fic, and so some people thought it was gonna be a secret agent au, but then it wasn't and everybody was so confused so ya...sorry about that lol

Anyways ok. Now here's what we know:

  1. Jisung and friends all have supernatural gifts they are hiding from the real world so that they can live out peaceful lives and not become lab rats
  2. Minho in combat boots
  3. Minho and friends are all supernatural also and can heal with their blood and bind themselves to other people
  4. Witness protection program/secret agents in the government



Alright we are getting somewhere. 

So when I think about secret agents, I think of people sitting around a metal table looking all important and staring at top secret and classified files of their 'targets'

And at the time I was listening to some pretty sassy music, which made my mood sassy and sarcastic, so now, we come to the beginning of the fic and present day (chapter 2), where we see minho and friends all sitting around a metal table, in combat boots, discussing their next assignments/targets.

And it just led to that situation of all of them bitching about the people they gotta protect...oof it's really turning into a witness protection program… 

But then I wrote a single sentence, which I think sort of unintentionally sparked the relationship minho and jisung would eventually have. 

I don't remember the exact words I said, but minho made a comment about how his assignment looked so 'boring and dull' which actually was the truth. 

Up until that moment.

I glared at my computer and was like "but jisung isn't boring and dull. He's one of the funniest members in skz and I had a blast writing him in a glitch" 

Which is where jisungs obnoxious and crazy personality was born for this fic, to offset minhos more chill/lazy playful teasing personality. 

Now seungmin...lol I decided to be completely different. He's still sarcastic, but more on the chill side, which I liked. And I played off that even more when hyunjin was decided to be a social butterfly always trying to get seungmin's attention. It's a classic, and we all love it. 

Finally changbin. Felix was a little more serious in a glitch, so I gave him his bubbly and giggly personality instead for a refreshing concept. Naturally I had to offset it with tsundere changbin, which was totally fun. 

For chan's personality...I wanted him to be a bit playful this time. The typical 'i know something you don't know' while maintaining an innocent 'i have no idea what you mean' secretive attitude. He knows how to 'play the game' and is always one step ahead of everybody else. That lead to me finally having an epiphany (I'm the one I should loveeee) on what his second gift was going to be. 

Clairvoyancy. 

But it wasn't going to be a strong clairvoyant power, just something to give him a little head start. He can't control it since, again, his aura sight is the dominant one. Kind of like a dominant trait compared to a recessive trait-

Andddd that's where I got dna and genes to blend into the fic. 

But back to chan. He can be mysterious and secretive, and I was loving this idea more and more. I can just picture chan in his vlives, always giving us that smile with his eyes scrunching up and going "mmm a spoiler? I can't tell you it, hehe. It's a secret" and then he spoils something, but we don't KNOW it's a spoiler because he's usually that good. So I based his character off of himself in real life. 

Now, I am a personal fan of catchphrases. I like it whenever I'm watching an anime and the MC has a catchphrase, so whenever you hear it you just think back to that anime. It's very common in lots of animes, so many that I can't even name them all. 

So I started tossing around possible catch phrases for chan's character. 

Chan now was going to be very teasing in this fic, and no one can stop me. His clairvoyant gifts will allow him to kind of "know" what's going to happen. BUT I didn't want him to be just like seungmin. Seungmin's gift is completely his own, and I already committed to him having tragic premonitions. Giving chan that "sight" as well wasn't fair to seungmin. So instead of sight, what if he could "feel" it happen instead? It just sort of started to fit in the story, because this clairvoyant gift is a recessive trait, it's at the back burner of chan's mind and not really strong, so he uses it as a tool to help him navigate through life. Being a fic writer, i had to describe it in a way that my readers would understand, so i associated his clairvoyant gifts with that “gut feeling” kind of sense. We all have gut feelings and our own sense of intuition, so i figured most people will be able to relate to where i was coming from with that. 

And then...one day, it kind of came to me. 

I was actually arguing with my sister over something stupid, and she asked me “how did you know that?” and i replied back sarcastically “i just had a feeling!” which totally pissed her off because she hates it when im being vague and not telling her something. I cackled evilly to her, and refused to explain how i knew something she didnt know and then i was like…..

Omg, i can use that as chan’s catchphrase! Just think about how annoyed everyone would be, when every single time he is one step ahead of the others and they ask him “how did you know that?” and he just does his little mischievous smile and cute eye scrunch and is like “i just had a feeling.”

Now his most famous catchphrase was born, and i absolutely love it. I laugh evilly to myself knowing some of you get so frustrated whenever he says that. 

Ok back to the actual story now. I was listening to monsta x’s “be quiet” song and i really related to it because my house is always noisy and chaotic. And i also lived in a dorm for the first few years of my college life, and if any of you have gone and lived in a college dorm with over 60 people on your floor alone, and there was a total of like 10 floors, then you will understand where im coming from with noisy neighbors. 

Which is how little old jisung, with his somewhat quiet and uneventful life, got a new noisy neighbor next door. And said neighbor had to somehow integrate himself into jisung’s life in order to watch over and protect him from harm.

The next chapters follow hyunjin, felix, and….well ya the rest of them as they try to form relationships with jisung’s special squad. 

Oh yeah, and i had to come up with a term that identified the difference between jisung and friends from minho and friends. 

I thought about this for like, a couple of hours, my trusty google in sight. I wanted jisung and co. sort of special, kind of blessed? That’s why everyone is after them and minho and friends need to protect them. But calling them ‘blessed’ is so BORINGGGG. They needed an official term, because like how all dramas, animes, and video games go, there is always a ‘term’ we use to call certain races of people when talking about supernatural things. So i just looked up synonyms for ‘blessed’ and chose ‘cherished’. 

Now here is where we get sentimental. I can play off of the whole ‘cherished’ thing pretty well. Jisung is a rare gifted being, known as a Cherished, and is supposedly ‘blessed’. And well….minho is not. So this is where the line greatly divides the two sides of the story. 

Calling jisung blessed led me in the direction of religion and a sort of biblical feel for this story. I know, this is totally taking a major turn, a complete 180. But thats how all of my stories go when i dont have a solid plan. 

Back to jisung. He's blessed, so i roped religion into it. I made them all blessed beings created by God. they were his most ‘cherished’ creations, favored above any other race, including angels etc. The humans eventually got jealous of the Cherished, and so they sought to kill and destroy this rare and unique race. The cherished were exactly like humans, only they were granted with special traits: they could live slightly longer, have a certain psychic gift, and yeah you guys get the point. Naturally, greedy and corrupt people all want those types of things. Basically, they strive for power, and in order to make themselves more powerful, they needed to eliminate anything that was above them on the metaphorical totem pole of hierarchy. 

As the legend goes, god was extremely upset that his most cherished race of people were getting killed, so he decided to create a race of beings that will protect them from harm. A sort of ‘guardian’ if you think about it. We talk of guardian angels all the time, but making minho and them a guardian angel, or even a fallen angel, was very very boring for me. 

So back to google, who no doubt hates me by now.

I googled beings that are like angels or even demons (because demons can be guardians too! *cough, cough*) and found a whole list of random shit to sift through. I also threw in ‘blessed’ and stuff in the search bar and got to articles about the holy spirit and shit. But this fic isnt supposed to be that deep in the religious content, so i kept looking. Finally, i came across the term ‘daemon’ not demon. And it sort of fit? Into the story? 

This is the official google definition i found:

_Daemon or daimon: (Greek mythology) A tutelary deity or spirit that watches over a person or place._

Sooooo kind of like a demon, but not quite. Ill just go with that! 

And now minho was created by god as a daemon, a sort of guardian spirit (but not as holy as angels etc!) who was born for the sole purpose to watch over and protect the cherished, god’s most favored people. 

Later on in the story i played around with the idea of a cherished and a daemon having kids, and what do you get with that? We are all curious about this kind of stuff whenever reading fantasy/paranormal stories, so i tried to include that so nobody had any questions later on. Im not sure if i did a good job with that explanation in the story, and i honestly didnt really like it, but whatever, i kept it in lol

I made minho and others a mix, and then threw back in the idea of dominant vs recessive traits (you science nerds like me, this one was for you!) and that the daemon genes are dominant, so even if a cherished and a daemon had a kid, they would always be a daemon since the daemons die early and only have a lifespan of about 25 years and they need to continuously repopulate their race and blahblah yeah….it sort of made sense in my head but oh well. 

Again, this story is based in modern day, so its only natural that these angles and questions to the technicalities of how the genetics worked is addressed. Some of you still had questions for me afterwords, and im sorry for not being more detailed about this side of the story because really, it was all on a whim and not planned out. BUT! It made me really happy that some of you liked the story i totally word vomited at you enough to question me on it and give me your own theories on why things were the way they were, so at least i did something right lmao.

Moving on to the plot of the story. Ok so i did a point check:

  1. Jisung is cherished, minho is a daemon
  2. Minho was born only for the sad purpose of protecting god’s most favored race, nothing more. He dies at 25 (totally random number, there is no significance). 
  3. Jisung is still in danger. But why? Havent gotten there yet.
  4. Personalities are established and pretty concrete for all members, so check 
  5. Psychic powers for each of the 4 members also pretty solid 
  6. Daemons are now on the move, integrating themselves into the cherished’s lives
  7. Its still a witness protection program not really a spy/secret agent fic, so author is still boo boo the fool
  8. Random back story on how these beings came to be, check
  9. Bad guy? Oops, forgot about that teehee



I needed a bad guy, but i also needed it to be hella confusing for everyone to keep people guessing throughout. This, i apologize deeply, was poorly executed. 

I called the antagonist of the story ‘Sir Park’ on purpose, and made JYP basically a henchman under sir park. I briefly explained in one of the chapters (i think it was where jeongin comes in) why park jinyoung went by the name ‘JYP’ because he didnt want to be associated with Sir Park at all. He didnt want people to mistake him for the other park, and this was intentional. That was basically the first hint that Sir Park was going to be shady and evil, because why would JYP not like to be associated with some great guy that started up a program that saves and protects cherished from harm?

Many of you didnt quite get the reference, and i had several people kind of yell at me and tell me they thought it was dumb and confusing to name Sir Park and JYP like i did in the fic, and that i could have written that better. Unfortunately, its too late to change that, i was already too far into the story to do anything about it. Sorry for the mixup lol. I never called JYP anything but ‘JYP’ but i guess some people mixed it up in their minds when reading ‘Sir Park’ and automatically assumed JYP was the evil sir park. 

I did mention somewhere that there is more than one person with the last name of Park in korea but ya….

Anyways, ill be careful from now on! Please give me some leeway since this was only my second fic to ever write and i didnt plan anything in advance at all. I literally wrote this chapter by chapter and just hoped for the best. 

At this point, i was getting some slight backlash from readers from a glitch and iimb, critiquing me on a professional level over my writing. I will admit, i got slightly pissed at this. this is where I started clarifying for everyone that I am "not a professional writer. this is all just for fun" etc

Please note, i dont mind at all when people share their opinions and thoughts on my stories and fics. This is a creative community, and everyone is entitled to what they want to say. But it was under my understanding that ao3 is a place where we can just freely write, without worrying about proper grammar or solid plots. We can just share our stories and ideas with other people. So i didnt really appreciate some literature majors coming at me with a long ass list of things i could have done differently, and using some big ass english words at me that only a creative writer/professional author would know. For goodness sake, i had to google synonyms for the word ‘blessed’ please spare me the pain and agony of knowing what the fuck prepositional phrases or some other shit is when writing a fantasy fic about kpop idols lmaooooooo

But like the mature person that i am...i ignored those comments and continued on my ‘seungmin flung himself out of the window of a hospital agenda’ because thats what i seriously wanted to do in that moment. 

I went on a tangent again lmao. Anyways, back to the story. 

I now have my bad guy established. Time to spice some things up in the story. 

The cherished find themselves in danger a few times and dont really know why, and the daemons are becoming more and more attached to them. I threw in a few hints with chan which made everybody go ‘the fuq is this guy on?’ and i added in some everyday fun scenes. And this is where i talk about this fic almost becoming a somewhat smut fic. The sexual tension i had between minsung was going somewhere, and i liked it. But again, those people coming for my throat earlier was still in the back of my mind, and also if any of you are Army and lived through the whole ‘bts shall not be sexualized’ chaos, then you will understand why i hesitated and quickly deleted any and all explicit scenes. Im glad some people were still able to catch the ‘mood’ i was going for and the implications that there was supposed to be those types of scenes in there, but in the end i kept it sfw instead of nsfw. Yes, i sort of second handedly got bullied into not doing anything like that, even to this day with my current fics. Overall, the romance between the ships still worked out nicely, so i didnt mind it. 

Which now brings us to chapter 14: the chapter where everybody pretty much screamed at me, and i loved every second of it because im somewhat sadistic. I remember going to work that day, and by the time i jumped back on to ao3 around lunch time, i had like 20 comments in the inbox. 

Im not good at writing angst or heartbreaking scenes. Ive never really done it before, so i gave it a shot with chapter 14 where minho had to basically watch jisung’s memories get erased right in front of him. Throwing nuest into the mix of things was fun, and i finally had my solution on how jisung didnt remember minho in the beginning chapter one year later. 

This solution all started with a phrase i thought of for chan while making tea in my kitchen:

“I can see it, echoes of someone left behind. Someone important.” (really random thing to think about while making tea lmaoooo)

That is by far, my most favored phrase of dialogue to this day. I thought of that one sentence, and practically dropped everything i was doing and started typing like a maniac. I eventually got the idea of nuest, of ren erasing everyone’s memories, of chan saying that one line to the others because he KNOWs he forgot something, but he doesnt know what, and he can see it all around him, of jisung and seungmin and changbin all equally feeling like something isnt right at all, and them unconsciously doing and remembering things about the others, whether it was a habit (hyunjin putting extra milk in his milk tea) or an action (felix forcing changbin to water the plants everyday because he believed it made his place a little brighter) and ya… everything was starting to come together full circle at this point. 

I actually wrote chapter 15 first before chapter 14. “What a feeling” by one direction came on in my playlist, and i stopped to listen to the lyrics. 

“What a feeling to be right here beside you now, holding you in my arms.”

“It's too late, it's too late, am I too late? Tell me now, am I running out of time?” 

Those lyrics really described chan and what he was ‘feeling’. His chapter, of him trying to figure things out and sort of what went on inside his head, was one of my favorite chapters to write for this fic. I really got carried away with this one. I started to reveal what was going on with chan, his mystery was finally coming to an end. BUT i didnt want to let it go just yet. I wanted to finally tell my readers that yes, you all were right. There was _definitely_ most positively something suspicious going on with chan, and that his role was a lot more important than we all thought. So i sat there for a solid 15 minutes trying to think of a way to convey to everybody just how much chan was a part of the plot, without actually revealing his clairvoyancy just yet. I wanted to save that part for a more dramatic and emotional scene. 

After erasing and rewriting the ending to chapter 15 at least 4 times, i finally got it where i liked it:

“Here’s a list of what chan knows.

He knows that this person who left such a potent mark on his life is someone very important to him. He knows that this person is meant to be a part of his life. He knows that he was happy here with this person...he knows that wherever he goes, he will be looking for him.

But don’t ever ask Chan how he knows this.

_He just has a feeling._ ” 

If you guys havent noticed by now, i tend to have a writing style where i list off things as checkpoints (like i did earlier). Thats just kind of how my mind works. Whenever i encounter a problem and i dont know what to do and i get stuck, i start rambling off things i know. And then i gather up my thoughts and work from there. I blame the fact that i am mostly a science and math major. My notes and drafts are all bullet points lmaooo 

So by now, chan has figured out some things, but he knows he doesnt have all the clues just yet. Hes on guard now. Meanwhile, the others are figuring it out in their own ways, because not everybody is the same. 

Finally, chapter 14. I spent an unreasonably long time with this one, only because i feel like i didnt find the right words to really portray how minho would have felt if he had to let go of the person he’s come to love. I couldnt find a good enough ending to the chapter, to really let it get stuck in everybody’s mind. So i searched through my list of favorite lyrics and quotes and poems, until i finally came across it:

“Sometimes, tears are the words that the heart can’t say.”

I liked that a lot, and it fit perfectly with the moment. Here is minho, a tough soldier metaphorically speaking. Nothing phases him, he handles everything with a clear mind and attitude. He takes life, the good and bad, in stride. He did his job like he’s done many times before. So then why was he crying for the very first time? 

Chan of course knew it was going to happen to him :) and he also knew not to fight it. This was supposed to happen, the bad before the good. Seungmin didnt have a clue, ren just kind of ambushed him, and hyunjin didnt have the heart to watch, he couldnt handle it. Finally, felix spent one last moment with changbin, desperately clinging to him to the very last second. 

I wanted minho and jisung’s to be a little more dramatic. Minho finally gave in to his feelings, only to be too late. What would that feel like if you had to go through the same things? I tried my best with that scene :’( 

“Superstar” by Marina was what greatly inspired minsung’s romance. And the scenes after they were separated came straight from the lyrics:

“And I, I know that you never sleep, oh  
So impossible to dream when you're far away from me” that was basically ‘jisung’s perspective’ talking about minho. 

Im not one to dwell for very long on dramatic separations like that, but they are my favorite, in case anybody was wondering (you probably werent). So i time skipped. The fic was getting way longer than i planned anyways. 

I traveled full circle back to the beginning. But instead of repeating jisung’s scene in the snow, i made it from minho’s point of view. 

I roped religion back into it too, and finally answered some questions that have been building up regarding the daemons and their backstories. 

“Pray to God” by calvin harris was on replay while i wrote the ‘jisung in the snow’ chapter but in minho’s point of view. It was during this scene i got inspired by the song to basically make minho turn his back on god. Kind of like a fallen angel, but in his own way. He gave in to temptation and he didnt care. It was at this moment, he didnt need god’s love or approval like all the other daemons before him. He didnt care about that. What he really wanted was god’s precious cherished instead. 

“If I could go back with hands up, I'd look up to the sky  
And give in, I'd give into you”

Basically, he was giving his life away for jisung. If he was born to do one thing in his life before he died, saving jisung would be it. And this is where the main point of the story came to light. Giving up your own well-being for another person is a scary thing to do, but one that could bring you to your downfall or bring you great happiness. Its a risk we all have to take. Naturally, minho and the others had their own happy ending with that decision, but they didnt know it at first. 

Now pause.

The lyrics from just now? Yeah they played more than just a role in that chapter. “If i could go back with hands up, id look up to the sky.” sound familiar to anybody? 

Lmaoooo this was the beginning, the very first fleeting thought i had to make another skz fic. And i could just picture jisung (instead of minho) looking up to the sky with his hand raised up. (*cough, until the camellias wither, cough*)

But i put that thought away for a different time, and i continued on my trek to finishing up iimb. 

Naturally, minsung’s reunion had to be the climax of the story. But what about the others? So of course i had to put their meetings in with just as much effort. Changlix’s was my favorite to write. I remember it was maybe...uhhh? Spring break in march? Where i came up with changbin’s iconic line that i loved:

“You said my memories of him were taken. Answer me honestly jisung. Was I happy with him?” 

Jisung smiled down at him, the question bringing up the fond memories that changbin has long forgotten. “The happiest I have ever seen you,” he whispered to his friend. 

So changbin and felix’s reunion was a bit dramatic, and minsung’s was long overdo, and chan already knew it was gonna happen eventually lol, so where did that leave seungmin and hyunjin’s reunion?

That’s right. 

Seungmin swan diving out of a window and basically like ‘yolo we married now LOLOL' and jeongin like *insert eyes and lips face because im on my laptop and dont have emojis* 

And then he beat the shit out of jisung with his slipper once he got his memories back. 

I laughed while writing that, and i know it was probably cheesy, but im sorry i thought seungmin was perfect for that role. 

So yaaayyy! They all back together again, but they still need to basically deal with their new situation and stop Sir Park. so then all of that drama happened, and bam, we at the end. Also i love nuest, so they made a comeback, and surprise! We find out why JYP hates sir park, and now why ren hated sir park, since ren mentioned before that he hates the guy with a passion etc. 

Also, like i mentioned before with a glitch. I accidentally paired everyone up in twos, so jeongin was still a bit difficult to factor in. i was still writing part 2 of a glitch at the same time i was writing this, so i just decided to do the same thing i did in a glitch, but not as detailed. Hope you guys dont mind!

Ahh, the ending. My favorite part. 

We see the skz members a few hundred years from now, living out their normal lives and whatnot, still all happily together. 

The scene in chan’s bakery is an iconic one because we get to see how his gifts as a clairvoyant are doing now. We learn that he is much stronger than when he was at the beginning of the story, and he is still growing every day with his abilities. So much so that chan is even able to see spirits and know things that are going on in the universe that normal people shouldnt know. 

I like to think this happened because when he anchored himself to a daemon, he became more stable and was able to expand on his gifts, just like how seungmin was able to control his gift of sight in the future/his premonitions, and changbin wasnt dangerous and unstable anymore with his telekinesis. Jisung was also able to heighten his gifts of psychometry and could see the past to large extents with the objects he touches. I also planned for him to see an object’s future as well, but i never got around to fitting that into the story and it wasnt important at this point. 

Anyways, back to chan. 

He can see spirits now….

Yep, spirits. 

And stuff.

We end the scene with chan saying he ‘found his proof’ that soulmates really do exist. But i purposely never said what that proof was…..

You know….

Anyways, i never ever leave my readers hanging, so those of you that have faithfully followed this fic, i thank you in advance for never giving up on me. 

I wanted to spill the tea SO BAD but i kept my mouth shut to the very end. I even had people yell at me in the DMs and in the comments saying 

“BUT WHAT DID CHAN SEE? WHAT WAS HIS PROOF?! I NEED TO KNOWWWW” 

And i told everybody that chan ‘just had a feeling’ and sealed my lips. 

So ya…..

K bye. *insert peace sign emoji*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, this shit is hard. Legit, its so difficult for me to take what's going on inside my brain and put it in order and into words so that you all can understand what I mean. lmaooooo im sorry if its been a train wreck up until this point.


End file.
